Which Balances Would You Add in an April Fool’s Day Update?
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1. As ages progress, infantry units gain a 50% increase in speed while cavalry units experience a 50% decrease in speed.
2. The market now reflects the real-time fluctuations of the Microsoft stock price.
3. To produce additional villagers, assign male and female villagers to work on the same resource and encourage socializing by providing breaks for chatting and getting to know each other better.
I’d revert all changes to their most OP.
Villagers have a 1% chance every second to explode, damaging surrounding units and even friendly units, they probably won’t explode but always can.
Ranged units becomes melee units and melee units becomes ranged units
Fishing ships can build sea walls
Wolves hide in woodlines and pop out unexpectedly
Spies is now free in Imperial Age.
All unique units move from castle to corresponded military building. Adjusted cost and training time for balance. In case of units like mangudai that fit the same role, replace the regular unit
* All unique units are replaced with Monkey boy
* – Herdables all carry hand cannons
* – Quintuple boar hp and size, but quintuple food
* – Elephant units have great memories and if you say toxic things in chat too often they will disobey you or attack your vils
* – North Korea Civ added, same Tech Tree as regular korea but you may not advance past dark age and instead of gathering food you must answer questions asked by Kim Jong Un to get food.
* Space Mexico is added as a Civ
* Buff Sicilians
* Iraq-US war campaign
* Peta Mode: no animals or fish may be harvested for food. Riders must carry their mount.
* Buildings can move (this is an actual mod and it’s hilarious and trippy)
Villagers have 10000000000000 hp
I would include Szlatcha Privileges unchanged and we would all have a good laugh about how silly that would be if such a tech was added to the real game.
Pathing now works flawlessly but is immediately reverted back to it’s current state as soon as the event is done
I’d correct AOE “logic.”
Kings are extremely slow due to their weight, wolves will attack sheep and monks, sheep can’t “scout,” all units can go inside houses, units that are just a single blow away from death have diminished performance, stone wouldn’t really be something you could run out of easily.
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Buttering Ram: same as a regular battering ram, but instead of a wooden log, it’s a stick of butter.
It does almost no damage, but inflicts a permanent debuff called “buttered”. Units afflicted by the debuff are greasy, and slide across the map like a classic videogame ice level.
Mangudai now have the same range as Longbowmen
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