Anxiety Attack Forces Resignation During Nomad Game
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I don’t know why I’m writing this, but in case the three teammates I abandoned with a large army in my game happen to read this, I want to apologize.
My anxiety got the best of me and I couldn’t handle the pressure.
If they choose to write about the situation, they will have some understanding of why I left.
I think I’ll avoid competitive gaming because I’m already busy with college and putting too much pressure on myself will only make my anxiety worse.
I’m not asking for forgiveness, just understanding.
I wrote this post more for myself, to deal with my emotions.
I know this might be better suited for r/psychology, but I doubt my teammates would find it there.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this post gets deleted.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for understanding.
I now realize it was a panic attack, which is even worse but expected considering my anxiety.
I do limb microsurgery salvage/reconstruction as my profession.
I’ve had patients in the OR table dead for seconds/minutes while trying to fix things up.
I’ve had a subclavian artery torn and bleeding profusely while fixing a brachial plexus…Not ONCE I’ve felt at work as anxious as playing a ranked game on AOE2.
After years I still get trembling hands and taquipnea (fast heavy breathing).
I’m not minimizing your situation.
ON THE CONTRARY, just want to make you understand it’s something a lot of people get and feel (myself included), and some of us will never get over it.
But when it doesn’t happen…..the game is awesome.
Chill out!
We all suck on this game anyway!!!!!
Don’t be so hard on yourself!!!!!
It’s just a game at the end of the day.
I hope you feel better now.
I’m sorry to hear that happened, and I’m sure your teammates would understand if they knew.
OP, happens to the best of us.
It’s good that you’re being honest with yourself and recognizing this is an issue.
But please don’t feel bad.
Your teammates won’t even remember.
To echo what u/CamiloArturo said, I’ve been a warzone, dodging bullets and grenades, and the first time I felt my heart about to leave my chest for good was when I was trying to lame a boar in New Player Lobby on Voobly.
Point is, different things affect us differently.
It’s not about *what* the thing is, but how it has an effect on *us*.
Fwiw, of course, whether it’s being in a combat zone or playing an intense RTS game like Age 2, you can work through your emotions and responses.
But also, you don’t need to.
It’s just a videogame, and with a full life ahead of you getting your education ad such, AoE2 is obviously not a priority.
So if this is something bothering you now, just make sure you take care of yourself now.
That’s all that matters.
Godspeed my friend.
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback
This probably wasn’t a good place to discuss it but I am happy atleast you all understand.
Nomad makes me want to resign too!
In seriousness this game can be quite stressful, especially when newer to it.
We are all human, emotions happen; it’s inevitable.
You did nothing wrong.
I shoot you a PM with an idea to help you ease the tension in the future.
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Cheers!
Happens bro.
AoE is terrible for your nerves.
Also, as a college student, my guess is you played this at night, maybe after 11pm.
I get the jitters when I play around that time too..
My approach would be: Find some friends to play with.
It can make a friendly atmosphere while still being “competitive”.
Even if it’s just one random guy, you can play against each other or do some 2v2s.
When I played my first ranked games I had prob a pulse of 130+….After playing 100s of games with friends it was *slowly* getting a routine.
This game gets me shook in a way that no other does.
I try to drop back in my mind and watch the panic.
I feel like it’s crisis training lol
Nomad is the worst map on that matter lol. 4v4 Nomad games sometimes get so complicated I want to leave too
My mental health has declined since it came out on Xbox.
Haven’t played for 20odd years.
It’s a stress fest.
Just the greatest game though.
Thanks for sharing, it helps me.
I think try to at least give the resources before leaving if you can, that way its not as punishing to your teammates.
To start, they’re fine and more importantly you’re fine
To finish, it’s a video game.
Pretend you’re playing a computer.
Nobody cares.
Does anybody in your real life even know what AOE2 is?
Odds are no.
Fuck it open you’re next game and kill all your units.
Nothing will happen.
It’s not real.
I just played my first ever MP game yesterday and decided to start with ranked…
Matched up against some guy with 800+ ELO, I think I did alright all things considered but when I saw that he was dropping a castle just outside my base i just got super anxious…
Fast breathing…
My hands felt weird, as if not enough blood was reaching them…
Only other time I felt that sensation was when I got a panic attack a few years ago, so once I recognized the symptoms I resigned and lost my first ever ranked game.
I feel you, I feel where you’re coming from!
It’s ok though, practice meditation and next time you will be more ready for it.
It’s just a game anyways, don’t take it or yourself too seriously 🙂 and don’t be too hard on yourself!
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